I just stepped in a big pile of sassy!

questions from the book If…

1. If you could have any view in the world visible from your bed, what would it be?
A view of the ocean - possibly some place near 17-mile drive or Carmel, California.

2. If you could have the hair of any Hollywood celebrity, whose would you want?
Ooh this is a tough one! Boy hair - Cillian Murphy or Jake I’m not listing his last name here because a bunch of punks on myspace have been linking to this photo. Girl hair - Angelina Jolie, Rebecca Gayheart, or Laura Prepon.

3. If you had to name the single most erotic part of the human body, what would it be?
The lips, they are for kissing. Or perhaps, the mouth.

4. If you were to have three new baby daughters, what would you name them?
Sophia, ?, ? (let’s hope I only have one, then…)

5. If you could one thing to each of your ex-lovers, what would you give them?
More confidence (in the form of strength, not to mask insecurity).

6. If you could give any piece of advice to the fashion industry right now, what would you say?
Big girls need love too!

7. If you had to pick the most beautiful word in your own language, what would you choose?
Love.

8. If you could have the sense of humor of anyone you know, who would it be?
My friend Matty - he’s hilarious, though I doubt I could pull it off seeing as I’m not an adorable gay boy.

9. If you could impose a heavy luxury tax on any single item, what would it be?
Cigarettes. They’re the work of the devil, I tell you what!

10. If you had to choose the one thing that gives you the most comfort, what would you say?
Right now, my blanket (and my kitty, who often attaches himself to said blanket).

Today has not been one of my finest.
I would like to state, for the record, that it is one thing for the teen that I take care of (summer job) to quote Dave Chappelle in passing, as a joke, and use the B-word.
It is quite another to say to me, in earnest, “Why are you being such a B*#&$?!”
Well, actually he yelled it. In the middle of a crowded mall.
Uncool, my friend.

Anyway on account of that and my generally awful mood of the past 24 hours, I give you a survey:

Reader Poll Monday (via Sherri)
1. If forced to choose, would you rather wade 50 yards through waist-high dog diarrhea, or 50 yards through waist-high human asparagus pee?
Asparagus pee. No contest.

2. What size bed do you sleep on?
Full, but I wish it was a king! < --- size queen

3. When you discover a large, yet lightning-fast insect in your house, do you try to chase it down, or just let it be?
I’d freak out a bit, and then point R.J. the wonder kitten in that dastardly bug’s general direction.

4. If you were offered $1 million to tattoo a 1″ x 1″ logo of some randomly selected company on the back of your neck, would you do it?
Maybe for three million. I mean, really. A girl’s gotta plan for her future!

5. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you on a date?
My god, what hasn’t happened to me on a date?!
Probably something due to having food in my teeth, or on my clothes.
One time, on a date, the other person fell out of my papasan, lost her glasses, and spilled water all over herself and on the floor! Poor thing. Apparently I’m a sucker for a good klutz because we dated off-and-on for two years.

6. Do you remember the first time you got REALLY drunk? What happened?
I don’t remember!

7. If you saw a complete stranger standing near you in a line with a booger dangling from his/her nostril, would you say anything?
I probably wouldn’t.
A friend or family member? - Definitely!
A stranger? I’d leave it alone and look away!

8. If you’re in your house/apt. alone, do you close the door when you use the toilet?
Nope. I push it (mostly) shut in case someone comes home, but I definitely don’t close it.

9. When was the last time you held a baby?
I can’t remember! It’s been far too long.

10. Ask me something.
What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

Just a quick post to note two important things…

1) The Twins beat the Red Sox 12 - 0 last night! That’s right, kids! Yuck it up!

2) There was a bat in my house last night. All hail my rockin’ roommate for getting it out of here! First a flying squirrel, now a bat - what’s next?
Then again, as my neighbor so eloquently said a few minutes ago, “Calm down. It’s just a mouse with wings.”

Well, well. Here I am after four years of livejournaling.
I’ve moved to the big leagues.
I finally figured out how to customize php files (a bit - I know my html… not so much do I understand style sheets), so I’m ready to get this up and running.

My domain name comes from a Saturday Night Live sketch, involving Phil Hartman playing the editor of Sassy magazine. The actual quote is, “I just stepped in a big pile of sassy!” and you can listen to it here if you like.
Sprechen Sie Sassy?

I’m not extremely fond of the wordpress theme that I’m using - the theme that I really want is called Retropositive. I had some trouble customizing it, so for now I’ll use what I’ve got.
Current annoyances:
*color of the search button
*color of main entry links as well as cover of sidebar links on mouseover (too light)
Aside from that, it’s not too shabby!
On a related note - anybody wanna help a girl out with some color changes? Too much baby blue!

Hello blogging world!

And, to make my first post adequate…
a link.
I recently bought this shirt from this fan-damn-tastic website and I can’t wait until it arrives!
Does that mean I’m officially a blognerd?
Oh no!