Musings • 11.08.08
1) I am very involved/enveloped with reading the book Twilight at the moment… even though I fell asleep reading it this afternoon. I swear, I’m in love with it.
2) I rarely blog anymore since I’ve moved here. I endeavor to change that.
3) I am trying to use more descriptive verbs and adjectives in my writing. I’m a stickler about it at work, so why not at home as well!
4) I am amazed at the number of Subaru drivers in my current city. No matter who (whom?) is driving, I can’t resist shouting “Lezbaru” each time I see one. The problem being that you see one every millisecond on the roads here. Baroo!
5) I am the kind of person who loves without reservation and hesitation. As my friend Katie pointed out recently, I seem to fall in love easily. I would like to counter that with the idea that I don’t necessarily fall in love easily, but when I do, I fall hard. I have fallen in like on far too many occasions but can count easily on one hand (with piggies to spare) the number of times in my life that I have truly been in love (and loved in return).
6) I miss my brother a lot. I miss my friends. I miss my parents. Though I am going through a lot of “missing” at the moment, I am not eager to come home. This is a problem and I know that I am being held back by confusion and worry. I am a runner, so I will have to leave town soon for an escape, though my hometown may not ultimately be my choice destination.
7) I have always been told that when someone is suspicious, it means that they are lying to you. I am suspicious. Am I lying?
8) I drank a cup of coffee today, without extra (usually vanilla) flavoring. Not only that, but it was caffeinated. I’m obviously an alien. Who have I become in the short time since I’ve lived here? Am I being true to myself?
9) On Thursday I went out to dinner with a handful of folks, one of them being the partner of one of my nearest and dearest friends. He commented that I was quieter than usual. Since I’ve moved, I’ve gotten that a lot. The moments where I’ve felt true, like the real me, are few and far between. I feel like I’m living in a suspense film, waiting for the climax, and then the denouement, a time to start fresh, a new. I feel bogged down by perceived deceit and confusion. I wonder when the true me will come back to life again.
10) Last one, as 10 seems to be a good number for an enumerated list’s closure. I am blessed and pleased to live in a nation that has finally made an educated decision for our country’s president. Though the choices alloted to me in this country tend to be slim and I don’t always agree with the top two candidates, I am glad that a person of color has been elected president in my lifetime. The ban on gay marriage in California (among other places)? - Once again, actions taken out of fear rather than love. Some day I hope my country finds love in its heart for all living beings.
