I just stepped in a big pile of sassy!

Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix
Loved it.
Hermoine was bad ass in this one.
I would like Ron to be less of a weenie.
I don’t like Voldemort (or rather the actor playing him’s interpretation) - it’s such a caricature.

1408
Liked it so much I went right out and bought the short story.
The screenplay was well written and creative.
I was quite let down by the short story.
Damn you, Stephen King — learn how to END a story.
For once, the movie really is better than the book.

Spiderman (all of ‘em)
meh schmeh - enjoyed the special effects in 3 better than in 2, definitely.
Kirsten Dunst is tolerable in this movie, though not an any other that I’ve seen her in.
Attention casting directors for major motion pictures: Hire Topher Grace. Thanks.

I’ve seen a few other movies recently but can’t think of ‘em off the top of my head. Therefore they must not be any good. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

P.S. Jon Lovitz - thanks for punching Andy Dick in the face. I mean it. You’re the best!

P.P.S. Tammy Faye - thanks for being such a kindhearted woman. You’re fabulous and you will be terribly missed, by so many.

Here you go!
*expires 4/18/07
It’s a little bit wonky - you might have to click on the “Sign Up Now” tab to get the 1 month free.

Premonition
Bad writer, no cookie.
The timeline was not believable.
The plot/story did not stick to their established “rules of time.”
The ending was HIDEOUS. Rage-inducing. Vomitrocious.
I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so disgusted and such a pathetic excuse for an end to a movie. Jerks.
I tried to like it, too, but for all of the above reasons it deserves to go straight to DVD.

1) Pan’s Labryinth
I f^$&ing loved it.
Amazing cinematography, great use of light/color, wonderful plot/script and acting.
Wildly imaginative.
If you don’t go out and see it right now, I will personally give you a swift kick in the pants.
I mean it!

2) Zodiac
Good stuff. I dug the suspense and the feel of the era (1968 - 1980).
Ran a bit long for my taste. A few unnecessary shots could have been cut.
This could have easily been a two-hour film.
Being a “boy scout” (goody-goody) takes Jake Gyllenhaal’s hotness down a few notches.
I’d say he was a 7 in this movie, when in my world, he’s almost always a 10.
P.S. Why does John Carroll Lynch only seem to get offered creeptastic roles? I genuinely like him as an actor and really wish he’s be cast as something other than a scary pervert. Maybe someday…

(in alphabetical order)

Borat
5/10
Didn’t do much for me - would have preferred more physical humor rather than simply using stereotypes to make fun of others.

For Your Consideration
6/10
Good, could have been much better.
Loved the visual humor (on sight), the dialog wasn’t as funny.

Lord of the Rings (all 3)
8/10
Good stuff. The extended edition was cheesy. Characters would stop in their tracks, deliver (”deep/thoughtful/moving”) dialog and then continue on their way. Awkward! I thoroughly enjoyed referring to Legolas as “Legoland” and Frodo as “Frodo the dodo.”

Stranger Than Fiction
7/10
I love Will Ferrell, I love Maggie Gyllenhaal, I love Queen Latifah.
Still, this movie needed more umph.

Transportation:
I had the unfortunate circumstance of driving (riding) down Nicollet Avenue on Friday just as Critical Mass was biking by on Franklin.
Newsflash bike enthusiasts - there’s a much better way to get your point across!
If you expect people in cars to watch out for you and obey the traffic laws (which they should), you have to obey them as well! You don’t get “special” rules. Stop at red lights. Jerks.

Misinformation:
To the woman at lunch today who said she’ll “Never vote for any of them democrats in this election” because of what John Kerry said the other day?
“I can’t overstress the importance of a great education. Do you know where you end up if you don’t study, if you aren’t smart, if you’re intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq.”
Grow up. He was supposed to say the word “us,” apparently - referring to Bush getting “us” stuck in Iraq. Kerry is one Democrat, not the representative for all democrats - and he’s not running in this (local) election. I abhor that ignorant mindset and all or nothing mentality. Genius, I tell you what.

Animation:
Regarding Fur - I saw it at The Walker last Friday and was not impressed, especially with Robert Downey Jr. He could have done so much more with that character. But he didn’t, and this movie is the most fictional account of fauxness that ever existed in fake land.

Hey!
Netflix is offering a free month once again!

If you want to try Netflix on for size, e-mail your friends who have netflix now and ask them for a code.

Woo free month here I come!
(thanks Stacia)

Aah the joys of working with a teenager…

Scary Movie 4
was not bad.
I laughed REALLY LOUDLY at the Tom Cruise (”Tom Ryan”) scene and thought the movie was well put together.
It’s definitely worth renting, whether or not you’ve seen the other three movies in the series (I have).

Date Movie
was.
There were funny parts - the Napoleon Dynamite “Gosh! Gosh! Gosh!” and the orgasm dinner scene. Not much really tickeled my funny bone besides that.

I love slapstick - I do not, however, love grossout movies.

I’ve been internet-less since Thursday and it feels like much longer!
My internet won’t be connected (at my new place) until this coming Thursday, but I’ve snuck in a moment at my parents’ place to check e-mail and catch up on online happenings.
In the summer of 2000, I did summer theatre for three months without internet (or my own phone) and survived.
Funny how times have changed.

Last night I saw X3 and loved it, though not as much as 1 or 2.
I’m told there is something Xtra after the credits, but I didn’t know that so I didn’t stay.
Drat!

Today I went to the Twins game.
GO TWINS! Hooray for a sweep against Seattle and hooray for the Designated Hottie, Joe Mauer (lookin’ good)!
It totally rocked me (HELLO homeruns from Lew Ford and Justin Morneau).
I’m such a crushedout superfan.

Dear Heatwave,
GO AWAY!
I just moved into my schmancy new place and I can’t enjoy it because my cat is overheated and I’m not getting any sleep!
No love for you.

Dear Thunderstorms (and rain),
Please come quick - hurry!
I promise to love you forever and ever even if it means a few days without sun.
Kisses!

Last weekend I saw The Notorious Bettie Page and kept wondering why one of the actors looked so familiar.
Of course!
It was Mangus (Angus the Nanny/Manny) from The L Word.

I feel so much better now, knowing that.

The movie had tons of fairly recognizable character actors in it.
And, it was a good time (directed by a woman, written by a woman, and produced by women!).
Except that, at the end of the movie, my companion mentioned something that I had thought about but did not say:
“I wonder if any creepy guys were jerking off during the movie.”

Thanks, thanks a lot.
I feel dirty.