I just stepped in a big pile of sassy!

I love when I’m at a gay bar, and a girl is flirting with me, or a friend (or both) and manages to slip in the “I’m straight, but…” comment.
Yes, honey. Yes you are.
Your sk8er boi clothes don’t give you away at all.
And then, when I give her a ride home at the end of the night (because I’m nice, folks, not sleazy), my friend notices her L Word DVDs and photos of naked ladies strewn about the apartment.
Aaah sweet, sweet denial.
You don’t see my room plastered with 1/2 naked ANYTHING, do you?
And it’s not just for the sake of art, so don’t give me that hibbity jibbity!

Oh, the bitterness.
I hate that I have one ex (who isn’t even really an ex, though we did date sporadically from late August through early January), that gets to me.
She makes me so mad.
She’s not a nice person, she made out with other people TWICE when we were out on dates.
“Oh, forgive me. Oh, I was drunk. Oh we never officially said we were girlfriends. I promise I’ll never do it again! It meant nothing. I really like you, I want to be with you!”
When I see her out and about I get so angry.
I want to scram from rooftops, “Do not date this girl! She is TROUBLE! She will cheat on you and treat you badly!”
But, I don’t.
Because as much of a sarcastic, tactless punk as I can be (at times), I’m simply too nice.
Urgh.
Can’t she just go away already?!

I mean, I’ve only dated two femmes, like, ever and she’s giving ‘em a bad rep.
At least the first one was a good egg.

I just, hate the feeling of hurt/anger/unresolved issues.
I had never been *cheated on* before in any way/shape/form and man, it hurts regardless of your official status with someone. Talk about disrespect! I loathe the fact that now I’m suspicious and less trusting. It’s rotten and unfair.
I’m really good at not having drama with exes (or non-exes, whatever you want to call it) and I can’t stand that people fawn over her based on looks alone, when honey - the substance is just not there.
She’s smart, yes. Insecure - unfortunately. Messed up with a giant suitcase full of issues - you know it.
But, you know, I’m not even going to go there (you have no idea).
Because, like I said, I’m just too damn nice.

Though if you ask me who in person, I’ll tell you.
Please, please don’t date her girl.

*Disclaimer:
I had an amazing time last night, in general, and my friends were/are hi-larious.
Seriously.
My friends are indescribably amazing, supportive, hot, smart, stunning, and witty.
Lucky punks!
(Lucky me.)

Today’s just not working out for me.
Cold. Rainy. Crabby.
Can’t get ahold of anyone, having plans change at the last minute.

I was out of town for two days and you’d think I was gone two years.
I came back a bitter old maid!

On the plate for tonight?
Hopefully some good times with some hot ladies (all friends, yes).
I really need it.

I don’t think I can get much crankier.
I mean, honestly.
It should be illegal to be this disenchanted with… everything.

I had the most insane dreams last night.
Sadly they are far better described verbally than on paper (or online).

Needless to say, my life is a whirlwind of change right now and my heart is handling it even worse than my head.

Aging, Crushing, Graduating, Moving, it’s all too much to take!
To crush or to be crushed? That is the question.
I’m in a glass case of emotion!

My heart hurts.

I’ve been bad.
Sittin’ back, snarking at things I read on other blogs (that shall remain nameless) all the live long day.

Honestly?
I’m graduating in a month, I’m a whirlwind of craziness (mushy mush mush and goo), and my 9th birthday present (the ever wonderful Cinderella) died yesterday (babyface cat, 17 years young).
Oh - and - I’m moving in June.
Insanity!

Whine whine whine complain complain - didn’t I say I wanted this to be an impersonal blog from the get go?
I do believe I did.
Mucked that one up!

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In news of the random, I found a ladybug in my backpack yesterday.
My backpack that hadn’t been outside.
My backpack that had been sitting on the floor of my classroom all day.
It was still alive and my plan was to free it outside.
I walk away for a few minutes and boom - it’s gone! Knowing my luck, I stepped on it.

Anyway, ladybug-related, I looked up some ladybug ‘lore on the internets yesterday.
Results were inconclusive - I found the following:
Superstitions…
*Finding a ladybug is good luck (the redder the better) < -- "the redder the better"? I feel dirty.
*Killing a ladybug will cause bad luck and sickness.
*To know the direction from which your future love will come catch a ladybug and chant the following:
“Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home
Your house is on fire and your children are gone.”
*Also has been said as
“Ladybug, ladybug, to your house you must turn.
Your house is on fire and your children may burn.”
OR
“Fly away east, Fly away west,
Show me where lives the one I love best.”
Let the Ladybug go and watch what direction it flies in to find your answer.
*A ladybug landing on you is very lucky.
*A ladybug on your clothing means you will soon get a new piece of clothing. < -- boring!
*The number of spots on a ladybug indicated the number of happy months lay ahead.
*To cure a toothache rub the yellow liquid discharged when a ladybug becomes alarmed on the tooth. < -- unsanitary to the maximus!
*If a ladybug lands on your hand and then flies away, it said to be good weather on the following Sunday.
*If a ladybug lands on the hand of a recently married woman the number of dots on its back is the number of children she will have.

AND ALSO:

The lady bug is a porta fortuna or charm (good luck) and, last but not least, a symbol of the soul. In this latter capacity the lady bug is called anima della Madona (soul of Our Lady) or anima del paradiso. Should anybody have the misfortune to kill the bug, he or she would die the very next day.

Good to know. I really am an overflowing fountain of useless knowledge.
You’re welcome.

Oooh - lest I forget - I uploaded a few photos from my trip to Louisville - here.

If there was a soundtrack to my day, right now it’d be stuck on repeat. For some reason I’ve got “What a feeling’” stuck in my head.
Oh dear.
Flashdance!

It’s been a week of blushing, sighing, dreaming, and being way too distracted for my own good.
I’d say it’s been the best spring break on record.
I’m so not ready for next week to begin.

More about my travels later - for now there are a few pictures up here.

My impulsivity has reached a new low (high?).

This time next week, I will be in the northeast (Boston/Providence, to be more specific).
Damn that’s hot.

Spring Break - here I come! Hooray for cheap tickets!

Don’t worry, I’ll take photos. Oh yes, there will be photos.

Only in my profession is the phrase, “I hope you become deaf,” a compliment.

A bowl of cereal plus freezerburned (microwaveable) pretzels do not make “a balanced meal.”
In fact, they (especially the pretzels) make for a pretty unappetizing dinner.
Live and learn.

Leab is the best!
Love. It.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must say that I once had a sensual dream with none other than Greg Brady himself, Mr. Barry Williams, in it.
Woo!
A crush I didn’t even know I had!

excerpt from my journal - 11/28/2002:
I had the strangest dream last night. In my dream, I was showering/making out with Barry Williams and my apartment (though not really *my* apartment) was infested with cockroaches and other nasty bugs. And I mean INFESTED!
In the dream, Barry had OCD (or something) and always scrubbed too hard with soap when he showered. I was showering with him and showing him how he could still get clean even if he lathered gently. Yes, my friends, I was lathering up Barry Williams’ hairy chest in my dream. Oh the humanity!

My subconscious is on crack.

This photo is from 2001 - the last time I wrapped presents myself.
Usually I slack and wrap ‘em at my mom’s house, but not this year!

Quote of the weekend:
Relative: “Sassy, come give me my morning hug!”
Me: “I will after you put some pants on!”

Aaah family.