I’m Rick James, B*#&$!

Posted in Uncategorized on Aug 10, 2005

Today has not been one of my finest.
I would like to state, for the record, that it is one thing for the teen that I take care of (summer job) to quote Dave Chappelle in passing, as a joke, and use the B-word.
It is quite another to say to me, in earnest, “Why are you being such a B*#&$?!”
Well, actually he yelled it. In the middle of a crowded mall.
Uncool, my friend.

Anyway on account of that and my generally awful mood of the past 24 hours, I give you a survey:

Reader Poll Monday (via Sherri)
1. If forced to choose, would you rather wade 50 yards through waist-high dog diarrhea, or 50 yards through waist-high human asparagus pee?
Asparagus pee. No contest.

2. What size bed do you sleep on?
Full, but I wish it was a king! < --- size queen

3. When you discover a large, yet lightning-fast insect in your house, do you try to chase it down, or just let it be?
I’d freak out a bit, and then point R.J. the wonder kitten in that dastardly bug’s general direction.

4. If you were offered $1 million to tattoo a 1″ x 1″ logo of some randomly selected company on the back of your neck, would you do it?
Maybe for three million. I mean, really. A girl’s gotta plan for her future!

5. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you on a date?
My god, what hasn’t happened to me on a date?!
Probably something due to having food in my teeth, or on my clothes.
One time, on a date, the other person fell out of my papasan, lost her glasses, and spilled water all over herself and on the floor! Poor thing. Apparently I’m a sucker for a good klutz because we dated off-and-on for two years.

6. Do you remember the first time you got REALLY drunk? What happened?
I don’t remember!

7. If you saw a complete stranger standing near you in a line with a booger dangling from his/her nostril, would you say anything?
I probably wouldn’t.
A friend or family member? - Definitely!
A stranger? I’d leave it alone and look away!

8. If you’re in your house/apt. alone, do you close the door when you use the toilet?
Nope. I push it (mostly) shut in case someone comes home, but I definitely don’t close it.

9. When was the last time you held a baby?
I can’t remember! It’s been far too long.

10. Ask me something.
What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

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